Jacob Read online

  As I feel my strength return, embarrassment heats my cheeks. Did I seriously just break down in front of a complete stranger?

  Make that a beautiful stranger.

  “Sorry about that,” I mutter, giving her my best smile as my hand finds my neck again.

  “You don’t need to apologize,” Stacy says softly, her kind eyes drawing me in. “Does that happen often?” she asks, politely referring to my embarrassing breakdown.

  I try to play it off. “Nah, I think I’m just a little overwhelmed lately. It’s nothing serious.”

  “Actually, I think it is. You may have had a panic attack, Jake.”

  She’s right, I know she is, but how am I supposed to admit that?

  Dammit! Isn’t admitting you have a problem the first step to solving it or something like that? I sigh and slump against the wall again. “I need help, don’t I?”

  Stacy grins at me and squeezes my hand again. “Yes, but don’t worry. I’m confident that we can come up with a plan that will help you and Ryan cope with the issues you’re dealing with.”

  “Any chance there’s a cheat sheet of the parenting rule book I can borrow until we get this plan of yours sorted out?” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.

  “I’m sorry to say there are no firm rules when it comes to parenting, Jake. There’s no playbook no matter how many guides you read. It’s something you have to develop from within, something that’s tailored from your relationship with Ryan.”

  Stacy’s eyes flare with passion and confidence; she seems to know what she’s talking about. This is the type of woman who can help me save the sinking ship that Ryan and I are adrift in.

  “Can you help me, Stacy?” I ask, shoulders sagging.

  It’s the first time that I can remember being desperate enough to ask for help.

  Before this, I always assumed I could figure this ‘dad thing’ out. I wish I could handle it, I wish I could make everything better for Ryan, but it’s time I face the harsh reality that I may not be the best person to raise him.

  I blink at Stacy, trying to put a leash on my painful emotions. There’s something about this woman that makes me feel strangely exposed. I’m not sure I like the feeling. Her conviction cuts me to the core though and she makes me want to do better.

  I stare at her, heart pounding with a mix of . . . hope? Terror?

  I don’t even know.

  All I do know is that I think she could be the one to help me figure out what’s best for Ryan. For starters, she’s actually listening to me, seeing me as a person instead of an NFL legend—instead of The Hartbreak Kid. It’s refreshing.

  “Please,” I add when the woman draws in a breath and shakes her head. “Help a lost guy out. Help Ryan. I feel like you’re the only one who can. You’re the first person to make me feel like I have a fighting chance.”

  Chapter 4

  Stacy

  Jake Eckhart stares into my soul with those pleading brown eyes of his that would make a nun weak in the knees.

  It doesn’t help that he’s not only gorgeous, but he’s also clearly desperate for guidance. He’s every teacher’s fantasy—a single parent in need of help raising a child. What kind of person would I be if I declined to help two people who badly need it?

  This is precisely what I went to school for, isn’t it? To make a real difference in the lives of those who need it most.

  For a moment I look around, hastily seeking out Principal Walton’s ruddy cheeks, but he’s nowhere to be found. I know if he sees this high-profile parent talking to me, I’ll probably get canned on the spot. I know his warnings aren’t just empty threats. He could replace me without any difficulty whatsoever.

  Just about every teacher in the state wants to be in my shoes and St. James Academy has a waiting list of applicants a mile long. That’s probably how I got hired in the first place, someone else not good enough for Principal Walton got the boot.

  But even more than just wanting a job like this one, I want to help people, and if I turn my back on Jake and Ryan, I don’t think I’ll be able to look myself in the eye again.

  Besides, I'm a smart girl and I’m good at what I do. I can probably figure out some way to help the Eckharts without putting my neck on the line. I can be understanding of the despairing situation Ryan is in without cutting him slack, and I can make sure he gets some extra attention in class.

  I suck in a deep breath, trying to organize the hurricane of nerves whirling between my ears. It’s plainly obvious to me that I’m attracted to the devastatingly handsome man, but I need to control my racing pulse and put my desires aside.

  “I can get you some resources,” I start to say, keeping my voice low just in case the principal walks around the corner, but Jake groans and shakes his head.

  “How many books and pamphlets can there be for uncles who take in the children of their dead sister?” he asks, tone surprisingly bitter. His chin drops. “I don’t need resources, I need help, Stacy. I'm failing Jenny and I can’t seem to figure out how to make any of this better for Ryan.”

  His arms fold over his chest, muscles flexing. He’s tense, wound-up like a rubber band about to snap.

  “Okay, okay,” I answer softly before looking past Jake at Ryan, who’s still sitting on a nearby bench scribbling on a piece of paper and looking content enough while he waits for his uncle to stop chatting with his teacher.

  I exhale as I make a split-second decision to go with my gut.

  I discretely pull Jake back into a small alcove where I’d coaxed him through his panic attack earlier. At least here we won’t be in immediate sight of anyone looking to pry. But as he moves closer the space feels too small, intense heat from his perfectly toned body crowding me, making it impossible to think.

  I clear my throat and try to focus. “Let’s start with your relationship with your nephew. How is it?”

  “Good enough.” He shrugs, blank-faced. “We spend time together when we can but I'm so busy with practice. He’s a good kid though, even if he’s a bit rough around the edges. Reminds me a lot of myself, actually. I lost my parents young.”

  I watch as he checks his watch discreetly. He’s probably running late for practice but I appreciate that he’s not trying to hurry this conversation along.

  “Then you must know how difficult it is to be young and feel so alone and lost, Jake.”

  “I do, but I only got through thanks to my sister pushing me into football. She and the sport kept me out of trouble. I just don’t know how to emulate her for Ryan. She was a one-of-a-kind sister and mother. She was amazing and so compassionate and giving. Me . . . I don’t know how to do that. I’ve always been selfish. Football helped me blow off steam and stay focused on positive things when I was a kid. It gave me hope and a light to follow when I felt like I was going to be swallowed by darkness.”

  My head cocks. A stray wind billows over us, nipping my hair from the loose bun nestled at the base of my neck. I push the stray curl diligently back in place. “Well, you said sports helped you a lot. Have you considered getting Ryan into something like that? Is he athletic?”

  With a miserable shake of his head, Jake’s massive arms slide from where they’re folded across his chest to hang heavily at his side. “He likes to run around a lot but he’s made it clear that he hates football.”

  “Then maybe we don’t pursue football for Ryan. You know, there’s an after-school soccer club that meets twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays in Central Park. You could give that a try. There are lots of kids his age who he can meet while also having some focused fun. It’ll help him sleep better at night too.”

  Jake pauses instantly, digging his hands into his pockets. He clears his throat, his cheeks glowing an ashamed red that makes his already handsome face look even more so. Butterflies abruptly flutter through my stomach, almost making me choke. I shake my head, trying to ignore the thoughts about how striking Jake’s brown eyes are and how his smile makes my heart beat faster. These feelings are inappro
priate, especially while we’re discussing his nephew’s wellbeing.

  “I . . . uh, to be honest, I forgot that there were other sports than football,” Jake stammers. “When Ryan said he wanted nothing to do with a pigskin I just . . . It didn't occur to me to get him to try something else athletic.”

  His embarrassment humanizes the prestigious celebrity. I see him, Jake Eckhart. And it’s hard not to like what I see.

  “Hey, it’s fine. You’re overwhelmed and suddenly a single dad out of nowhere.” I reach over, gently squeezing his arm, and bolts of electricity surge through my veins. The more I touch him the harder these feelings are to ignore. What’s wrong with me?

  I snag my arm back, rubbing the tender skin and flushing pink. Fortunately, Jake seems distracted with his thoughts.

  He gazes at me again quietly. “You make this sound so simple, like understanding Ryan is the easiest thing in the world.”

  “I’ve just spent a lot more time around children. Believe me, he’s just as much a mystery to me as he is you, but my background is in understanding how to read the signs that he lays out.”

  “Right.” Jake squeezes the back of his neck as he looks at his nephew. “You think soccer will help?”

  “I do. And you’re in luck. Today is Tuesday. Practice starts in an hour. You should have plenty of time to get to the fields.”

  Jake’s head tilts, his worried expression suddenly melting away to reveal an easy smile and a coy glint to his dark eyes. His chin lifts and it’s like he’s put on a mask. His sincerity has vanished, replaced by a polished grin.

  I swear the rainclouds part to let the sun perfectly illuminate a smile that makes a shiver coil in my stomach.

  “I think I mentioned my schedule before. It’s absolutely crazy,” he purrs. “I barely have time to pick up the little guy from school today. I have to rush back to practice. There’s no way I can get him to soccer on time.”

  “Oh?” I ask slowly, sensing a request coming as Jake leans closer so that I can smell his cologne. He’s doing this on purpose, that’s obvious enough, and I'm sure it’s worked on a thousand girls before me.

  I know guys his type.

  Suddenly, I see him much more clearly. He grins again, the kind that makes my head spin even when I know what game he’s playing.

  “I need you in my life, Stacy. Ryan needs you.” He waits for his words to sink in, rendering me powerless. “Can I hire you to take Ryan to practice for me?”

  There it is. He’s completely missing the point.

  The spell he’s had me under instantly dissolves, replaced by indignation.

  “No, Jake. Ryan needs you. Not me, not any other nanny or woman or whatever you’re trying to do here. He needs to know that he has family to depend on, someone who will pick him up and drop him off and help him feel stability—” I cut myself off, abruptly remembering the principal’s warning.

  I need to control myself around the school parents, especially ones with such notable reputations as Jake Eckhart.

  Hopefully, he won’t go to the principal with what I’ve just said. Instead of carrying on with my tangent, I rearrange my face into something I hope is pleasant and sweeten my jagged tone. He hasn’t spoken yet, his flirtatious grin still curving his handsome mouth. He’s probably never had anyone say no to that gorgeous face of his before.

  “Here’s what I can do, Jake. I’ll get you a list of well-vetted nannies who can help you out. These will be professionals who’ve helped a lot of families at St. James.”

  Jake groans and shakes his head. “I’ve tried that, believe me. Just about every agency in the state knows about Ryan and me. The nannies just don’t last. They either want me or they don’t want Ryan.”

  He digs his hands back into his pockets, his attempt at seducing me into carting Ryan around waning into nothing but gaunt devastation. He clenches his jaw, mind churning, a single vein popping in his temple.

  Jake Eckhart is the utter definition of desperation.

  Dammit! I'm not as immune to him as I’d like to think.

  This look on his face right now melts my heart. I wish I’d been told of Ryan’s struggles before. Maybe I would have been able to do something right from the start instead of scrambling to pick up the pieces now. The blankness on Ryan’s small face makes so much more sense now, as does the half-finished homework and the sleeping in class.

  What sort of home life do these two have? Do they have a bond strong enough to get them both through this?

  They need massive help if Ryan is going to turn out to be anything but a heartbroken young man with no regard for authority.

  I know I'm way overstepping the school’s policy about not dealing with the parents directly. This may be dangerous territory, but a teacher’s got to do what a teacher’s got to do.

  I sigh, a sigh that comes straight from my toes and seems to ripple through my whole soul. “Okay…”

  Jake’s eyes, suddenly hopeful, lock on me. “Okay?” he repeats.

  “I’ll take Ryan to soccer, but only for this week so you can find something more permanent. Got it?”

  A grateful grin lights his face as he nods, making his already handsome face even more so. My pulse skyrockets, thrumming between my ears.

  Oh no. What have I gotten myself into?

  If Jake Eckhart is anything, it’s trouble.

  Chapter 5

  Jake

  Warm sun pierces the gray haze overhead as my cherry red sports car glides over Central Park gravel.

  It’s already way past four. Ryan’s soccer practice is in full swing, but I'm sure he understands why I'm a little late. He may only be six, but he’s mature. And besides, that’s the whole reason I had Stacy take him to the field anyway.

  For a moment I sit in my car, shooting off a few texts to my teammates and Coach about our practice, and then I climb out of my vehicle and shield sun off my eyes.

  The grass is soft and damp as I make my way over to the field where a flock of children mill about munching on orange slices and swallowing big gulps of water. I find Stacy and Ryan soon enough. They’re together, Stacy holding Ryan’s water bottle in her hands as she crouches in front of him. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I can see a faint grin on the kid’s face.

  He smiles a lot, but this is the first time in a while I’ve seen him grin wide enough to make the corners of his eyes crinkle.

  Stacy stands up and says something else before pointing at the field. When Ryan turns to rush over to where the kids are grouping, she ruffles his hair without a thought. She doesn’t see the beaming look on his face as he’s running back, but I do. She can’t possibly know what her simple affectionate gesture means to Ryan or how much I’ve been dying to see that expression on his tiny face again.

  Jenny used to ruffle Ryan’s hair like that. Watching Stacy do it makes my chest feel so tight I can barely pull in a breath. I stop, staring up at the clouds as I try to quell the emotions that are too big to fit inside me.

  Not again.

  It’s becoming quite clear that Stacy is right. This is the second time I’ve lost it today. Clearly, I’m not coping with my sister’s loss very well. I wish I could say these overwhelming feelings of soul-crushing grief are rare, isolated occurrences, but they’re not. So many things make me think of Jenny—stopping me dead in my tracks.

  I often wonder if it’s a sign, if she’s reaching out to us, or if that’s just wishful thinking.

  I finally catch my breath and find Ryan on the field again. He’s grinning from ear-to-ear. After Jenny’s death last year, I didn't think it was possible for either of us to smile like that again.

  Stacy stands slightly smaller than the other parents she’s near, her curves luscious and her hair falling in a dark chocolate curtain of unruly curls that makes my fingers twitch with the desire to run my hands through those locks.

  She’s just my type, as Jenny would say, with that knowing gleam to her eyes. My sister was always quick to point out women she though
t I would vibe with. Not any of the Hartbreakers, who are looking for a one-way ticket to fame and fortune, but women who are confident in themselves and who could be a strong partner for me.

  To be honest, I mostly waved away the suggestions of my sister, choosing to pursue whatever girl was wearing the tiniest shorts on gameday.

  I was looking for a one-night stand, not the one.

  But I know things need to change.

  “Hey,” I mumble, unusually shy as I take my place beside Stacy.

  Stacy jumps and then glances at me with a faint smile.

  “Hey, yourself,” she answers.

  I stuff my hands in my pockets, not sure what to say to this gorgeous, intimidating woman. It’s mildly ridiculous considering she’s so tiny. The woman is five foot nothing, but her confidence towers over me.

  I can’t help but feel like Jenny’s watching from somewhere amongst the gray clouds and laughing to herself.

  Not sure what to say, I train my eyes on Ryan and the kids on the field. The other parents haven’t noticed me yet, too absorbed in shouting commands from the sideline to their children.

  Stacy’s voice calls my attention back to her. “Did you get a chance to look at the phone numbers I texted you? I really think you have a shot with those nannies. They’re the best in the business.”

  “Not yet,” I answer simply, despite the fact that I don’t intend to ever look at them.

  The woman in front of me is the only one who comes close to the image of the perfect nanny that I have in my head for Ryan. I just have to figure out some way of convincing her to take the job.

  A strange nervousness bubbles in my stomach as I stand side-by-side with the petite, brunette teacher. This feels weird. Like a date, almost. And that’s definitely not something that typically makes me feel nervous.

  I'm The Hartbreak Kid! I don’t get nervous around women.

  I’ve dated so many ‘it’ girls, from other athletes to celebs to models. Women line up for hours just for a chance to meet me, and I’ve never had the faintest hint of a flutter in my stomach. So what’s going on with me right now?